Rin - default

Desdemona?

Bella Swan is a necrophiliac.

Squirrels. ON FIRE.
Rin - default
banzaisebastian
First off, things I did today:

1. Read all the selections for Tennyson.
2. Read half the selections of Mallory (the writer I was going to cover tomorrow).
3. Wrote three pages of the seminar paper revision.

All because someone fucked up, and the internet went out for an hour. I'm on a roll!

And because I wanted to set fire to squirrels for most of the day anyway (because I loathe Tennyson, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about how awesome they think the Idylls of the King were), I'm screwing around for a bit.

Which also entails answering any comments that respond to this thing I stole from leahnari:

Pick a fandom, any fandom I'm in. I will tell you:
• One True Pairing Ship:
• Canon Ship:
• "If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship:
• "You are one sick puppy" Ship:
• "I dabble a little" Ship:
• "It's like a car crash" Ship:
• "Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship:
• "Makes no canon sense but why the heck not" Ship:
• "Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship:


Need help picking a fandom? Fandom master list is over hyeah.
Tags: ,

Words, words, words...
Bill - working
banzaisebastian
First, thanks to everyone who posted to cheer me up the other day. I'm doing better, and I think I'll get everything done. I just need to buckle down and really work on it. Either way, yeah, the paper sets me back a couple days (meaning I can't devote as much time to the Aliens paper as I probably want), but I want to be done by the tenth either way. Ninth ideally because that's the day the seniors are supposed to go to Six Flags.

Second...

Fanfiction.Collapse )


Third, expired Gatorade. Does it really exist? 'Cause I just got this bottle out of the machine that, after drinking a third of it, I realize says April 10 10. How does Gatorade expire?


Fourth, weird dreams. I always have this recurring element in my dreams -- not necessarily a plot itself, but this moment when gravity suddenly doesn't affect me, and I end up floating, regardless of whether or not anyone else is. I don't float into the sky or anything. I just hover several feet above the ground and stay there, no matter how much I try to get back down. I wonder what it means.

Things I Just Tweeted (but feel like sharing with LJ anyway):
Miguel - derpderpderp
banzaisebastian
If I don't get a salary job, I'm getting a job at a book store, just so I can pull off reshelving shenanigans. I won't just be kicked out of Barnes & Noble for putting all the bibles in the fiction section. I'll be fired! And it'd be totally worth it.

Paper?
Bill - working
banzaisebastian
Finished the paper.

Also had a long chat with my dad earlier today about why I think the more pretentious you are, the more likely you are to be a moronic twat. The higher you claim your intelligence is, the more likely you're either spouting bullshit or showing off how lacking you may be in the common sense department. It's not that difficult of a concept, people. Even I can navigate a Smith building to find my professor's office without asking.

Schedule for the rest of the finals period:

Tuesday, 4/27:
Middlemarch: Oral report. Topic? The history of the Victorian feminist movement. As in, history. As in, sparkly laws that gave women the right to keep their property, get educated, and generally be treated as something other than their husband's third arm. (Fuck you, feminazis in the class. You can keep your sparkly "we can only analyze this via 1970's spectacles" and misandry. History is fucking badass.)

Friday, 4/30:
Old English: Meeting with professor. Translation of 47 to 60 lines must be complete by then. Do Beowulf, even if everyone else wants to do it. Beowulf is also fucking badass.
SSFFS: Senior banquet, even if we're not calling it that. I have some Final Fantasy porn to give to Danielle. Although looking at it, there's like, one scene of porn, so now you know why I'm giving it to you maybe it's just the thought of it that will remind you of me.

Some vague haze in the general vicinity of next week
Arthurian Legends: Final exam. Self-scheduled. Might help to actually read half the fucking stories you decided not to read in lieu of trying not to die in your seminar. Two hours long on the first day of testing.
Aliens: 10-page paper on sheer crack. Vague historical research and research into natural history and biology necessary but not overly required for the constant quoting. Need to figure out how to fill up ten pages with 1.5x text all about BS theoretical alien history.
Polishing and submitting: The other two papers. And by "polishing and submitting," I mean "vaguely proofreading and submitting as-is." Like I usually do.

Anyone who would like to pester me about when I'll have time to do anything can refer to the lulzy drama war in my post the other day. *jazz hands*

In the meantime, even though I should be busy, I'm spending the rest of the day writing fanfiction. And by that, I mean viewing porn.

Meanwhile, I'm also planning on throwing my computer out the window. Last OS, it had problems with the fact that it was slowing down. This OS, it randomly freezes, which forces me to shut down (as in, force my computer to shut down) and restart because I can't even execute any commands. There doesn't seem to be any reason for it, either, so I'm guessing it's something that has to do with the fact that Eureka is a slut.
Tags:

Mundane Dreams
Rin - default
banzaisebastian
Evidently, I only want to do mundane things with you, Dani. I had a dream where you and I (although it strangely started off as Ryuuji and Taiga from Toradora) went to a grocery store to pick up things for a new recipe. In one of the aisles, I found this spongy mushroom that was shaped a little like a miniature uterus. The label near it (and a clerk who happened by) said that it had erotic properties, so I decided to buy one. You were looking at spices and picked out one that was supposed to help whoever ate it relax, but then, we saw that it was priced at $100. So, we only got the mushroom, really. Probably a few other things because we left the store with a few bags between us, but I don't remember what else we got.

You insisted that I drive your truck so I could learn how to do it, and I agreed. But we were parked closer to the store where there were cars all around us, so hilarity ensued.

This is the second time I can remember having a dream about you that was actually rather silly and ordinary.
Tags:

Oh, that's it.
Taiga - Palmtop Fucking Tiger
banzaisebastian
You.

Up until this point, I've been as patient with you as I can be, and I've been careful enough to be open and tell you why I haven't talked to you in awhile and why I think the way I do. I've even cared about how you were and made an effort not only to take an interest in you but also (despite how resistant you were to it) offer suggestions that you might be able to take to dig yourself out of the pit of misery you seem to constantly be in.

But this time, when I just found out that for the second time in a month, you've tried to convince one of my closest friends that I'm a terrible person, I've decided that a virtual bitchslapping is in order.

I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but way to add to the pile of shit I have to deal with as it is. Aside from my workload and constant anger, depression, and lack of sleep for the past week, you have to go and talk trash about me (trash which is either out of context or complete bullshit) to not one but two of my closest friends.

Allow me to set the record straight, here.

1. I did not tell you that "self-harming is all in your head" and that "you need to suck it up." I said that you need to stop confronting every piece of advice I offer with hostility and protest. The reason why is because that was 90% of all of our goddamn conversations back then (read: half a year ago) -- the constant "my life is TERRIBLE but all I want is virtual hugs" bit, I mean. I didn't know what the hell you wanted. You didn't seem to want me to speak except to give you a *hug* line every now and then, but unfortunately, I'm not that kind of person, if you actually bothered to learn a single fucking thing about me. When a friend is hurt, I do my best to make it better, not pat you on the head and feed you attention. This makes you look like you're fishing for attention just because you were so resistant just to go to therapy for your problems. That and you wrote off all the people around you as being unworthy of you. (Remember your comment about how your college's anime club was just a bunch of elitist nerds? How much of an effort did you spend trying to get to know any of them, anyway?)

2. Where the fuck did you get the idea that I didn't want to have anything to do with Astinus after we broke up? No, seriously. I'm curious because if I recall correctly, I had at least one emo post in which I said I was going to just back off and see what happens.

3. Speaking of outright lies, when was there a troll harassing you on the BBS's chat, and when did I permaban that kid? Because that never happened. It would be difficult for it to happen, considering I'VE ONLY BEEN ON MY OWN CHAT SERVER ONCE THIS ENTIRE MONTH. And when I was for all of one time, I didn't do anything mod-like except ban someone who was annoying everyone. (Dani wasn't even in there at that time.)

4. Speaking of Dani, yes, we had sex. No, it wasn't in the shower, and no, we didn't go into great detail about it. I didn't even mention it in my journal because I didn't want to feel like an attention whore about my sexuality. Where the fuck did you find that magical post where I went into great detail about sexual escapades in the shower? 'Cause I'm genuinely interested in knowing what kind of crack I'm on to not be able to find it in my own journal.

5. Speaking of Dani again, but telling her that I was ignoring you for months? Really now? When all I got was a PM from you a half a week before you started whining to her about how I'm OMG IGNORING YOU. And, incidentally, the reason why I didn't respond was because I was busy with other projects (including and especially schoolwork) and would only be online for the people who would kick my ass into actually working. Astinus is one of them, as is Dani. So, no, I wasn't ignoring you because I was upset. I was putting off replying until I could give you a spare moment.

6. If I hate anyone, I usually make it pretty fucking clear. Like I am right now. You see how I'm making this all clear by my tone and my language? This is what I sound like when I'm pissed off.

7. And you really want to know what the definition of friendship is? And, for that matter, how to piss me off? Friendship is a matter of trust -- the kind of relationship where I don't have to worry about you running off and talking smack about me behind my back so that my other friends hate me. Also, friendship is not having to deal with the aftermath of those stupid rumors. You know, this is the third time I've found out you've been spreading lies about me behind my back and the second time one of my friends came to me crying because they were confused.

Look, I'm sorry that you're not feeling well, but right now, I'm in the middle of something big. I really don't want to deal with drama, and you seem to be well enough to stir it. Not to mention you've pretty much raped my very simple requirements that I ask for from my friends. (I just require one thing, and that's for you to show me I can trust you.) I was going to give you my address after I was completely done. In fact, I was going to fill out my address book beyond all of three people, but way to go, kid. You've just proven that I can't trust you and that you're willing to go out of your way to make my life even more interesting.

So fuck you. I don't care what your other friends have to say about me after this point. When you've hurt my friends and when you've tried calling yourself a friend to me while spreading lies behind my back, I'm going to feel more than justified in saying that you're on my shitlist and will have to work your way off it. You didn't change, kid, and I'm not impressed.

If you want to say something to me, you say it directly to my face. Are you hurt by something I said? Do you have a problem with me? You tell me right out because I'm not a psychic, and you leave the line of communication open. In other words, tell me and not my friends. I'm sick and tired of having to hear about how much I've upset you when my friends come to me and ask me if all the vicious things you said about me were true. All this bullshit behind my back isn't going to be a good way to get on my good side, and you would have learned that by now if you actually paid attention to my past posts and read what I had to say on the matter. In the meantime, you told me once that people tend to leave you. Well, using them for sympathy and then bullshitting behind their backs is a damn good way to make them leave. You want me to be your friend? You fucking show me that I can trust you. Don't just say it.

Now, if you're wondering why this is on LJ instead of via PMs, it's so everything's out in the open. I don't want you bullshitting to anyone else about this because it seems like you have a fun little habit of doing that. On top of that, I want to see if you actually read this, and I want your comments right here. If you've got the balls to give me a reason why I shouldn't take you off every friends list I have, go right ahead. Otherwise, get the hell away from my friends.
Tags:

Progress
Taiga - Palmtop Fucking Tiger
banzaisebastian
I'm somewhere over halfway finished with the paper, standing at nine out of sixteen pages. If I write five pages tonight, that means I only have a couple more pages over the weekend. No big deal until you realize I've been writing only two to four a day. It's not so much because I'm lazy as it is I'm trying to throw this together when I realize I am heavily redundant throughout it, have little time to organize it, have massive sources, and happen to be going to class every single day on top of this. I've also barely been getting any sleep, partially out of stress over this (even though it's only a first draft) and partially because I stay up until three writing it. Hence, right now, I'm extremely tired and might just take a nap.

Problem for tonight is that I should be going to Hampshire to see Contact. On the one hand, I want to see it because it's a good movie. On the other, this will also take a large chunk of time. Half an hour getting there and coming back and a couple for the movie. I won't be able to write much because I need all of my sources. I also can't borrow the movie because it's not in the Five College system, I don't have a card for Forbes, and I'm still sitting on the Goonies from Netflix. (I might just open that and send it back in exchange for Contact later since I won't be having another movie night this semester.) It's not a required film, but I still want to see it either way.

Meanwhile, I've come to the realization that other than a few spots here and there, the only real time that I felt like I've been happy and that the universe isn't out to kill me was spring break. Other than that, I started off with hilarious happenstance (namely, getting violently ill the day before I was supposed to go to New York -- you know, the trip where I was supposed to network with Smith alums so it'd be easier for me to get a job?) which proceeded into getting trampled on by work and general bad luck. It's either something about this place, or fucked up karma. I didn't even fucking do anything, so I don't see what I did to deserve at least the fucking bullshit at the beginning of this semester. You know, I really try my hardest to make my life better. I really do. And then, the rest of the human race literally goes out of its way to fuck it up for me. And yes, I feel like I can rightfully blame other people because half the time, it's literally not even my fault. I didn't taint the food supply in the Campus Center in January. I didn't break the OneCard machine the other day. I didn't decide to pump my social circles full of drama. And I certainly didn't deliberately schedule myself into four classes that just happened to sap all of my time with impromptu, not-really-on-the-syllabus assignments every single week to prevent me from applying for jobs or getting more than maybe five hours of sleep a day for a month.

And I'm sorry if I sound like I'm evading the blame, but sometimes, I step back and still can't see what I did wrong. Maybe that's just how life works, but it feels like, sometimes, that I take a lot more bullshit from the world as a whole than a normal person. I mean, what the hell, end of January? What the fucking hell? No, I'm not letting that go, either. It's too much of a fucking coincidence to let go.

That and I need to have something to rant about right now, considering I probably should be angry at myself for choosing a topic I can barely write about. I'm not looking forward to the oral report, either, seeing as I can only be wrong about my interpretations in my seminar.
Tags: ,

Sign that it's not getting any better...
Taiga - Palmtop Fucking Tiger
banzaisebastian
On the good side, I got the extension and now have the weekend to write my paper and prepare the oral presentation. Moreover, I got that bit about the $20 resolved.

On the bad side, I:

1. Only wrote three pages of a sixteen-page paper so far because only this morning did I fully develop my thesis.
2. Stayed up until three in the morning trying to get to three full pages.
3. Didn't have my Old English homework done as a result.
4. Spent the entirety of Old English watching the clock and passing twice because he kept asking me to translate a line when I didn't have the translation.
5. Had a mental breakdown in the middle of class and essentially scribbled all over my notes a rather nice poem. It involved rats with the plague eating my brain.
- 5a. And I do mean "scribbled."
6. Proceeded to walk to Chapin flanked for the only time ever by a couple of friends. I told one of them to go fuck herself.
7. Also told several fellow Smithies I don't know to go fuck themselves. (In my defense, if you walk and text at the same time, I think you're a fucktard who needs to have horrendous things happen to that cell phone of yours involving a car, a flamethrower, and a dog with the runs, even if I'm in a good mood.)
8. Realized this fucking paper essentially screws over my carefully designed timeline, mostly because it won't get going and because I can't work on it because I technically have to be in class half the day. (I didn't really take into consideration how disruptive that would be to my schedule. Or, for that matter, how many fucking assignments every other professor would try to give me in the meantime.) Or because I keep falling asleep due to trying to work on it through ungodly hours, coupled with the fact that I have to wake up in the morning for class.
9. I spent $6 of that $20 last night doing my laundry. Not because I had to do it in two loads. Because I had to send my clothes through three dry cycles, and some of them are still not dry. A huge portion of my room is now being taken up by a stepladder because I don't have anything else to hang the fucking clothes on so they might dry.

I'm worse today than yesterday, in other words.

And I'm going to sleep because I have to actually be awake at 3 PM to attend my seminar. Luckily, it's a row of oral presentations, but this means I'll be spending two hours not doing this damn paper again because I suspect he'd be expecting me to pay attention.

Fuck everything.
Taiga - Palmtop Fucking Tiger
banzaisebastian
My in-class evaluation wasn't too bad.

However, coming back to Smith fucking sucked.

The OneCard machine tore my $20 (brand new, even) in half after rejecting it three times. Half of the rest of the bill is causing a jam in the machine. The information desk jockey wasn't particularly sympathetic, and the guy who handles this won't be in until tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I need to do my laundry and neither have enough money on my OneCard (not to mention any idea of whether or not I should try depositing anything into it or wait for that guy to get back) nor enough change to do it with cash. I'm out of shirts, and there's a massive pile of clothes that spans more than a week and a half.

I have a paper due Thursday, but I'll probably end up begging my professor for an extension because all my other classes decided, "Oh hey! We forgot about this last-minute assignment!" This paper is for my seminar. The one I need to pass to graduate.

Also, my body decided just now to remind me that I only got roughly four hours of sleep.

Therefore, I'm skipping my afternoon class in a mixture of an attempt to start my paper, the need to scrounge for change for at least half my laundry, and sheer, blinding anger at the entire fucking world.

I'm not even sure if I'll actually go to senior ball. I don't have money, a dress, or time.
Tags:

Recipe
Rin - default
banzaisebastian
Because a lot of people have asked, this is the exact recipe I used for the potluck:

Cut for tastiness.Collapse )



I'm also already behind on my schedule thanks to the fact that I forgot we have in-class evaluations tomorrow. Go me.

On the positive side, research is done, so all I need to do is sit down and start BSing a beginning.

?

Log in